I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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