i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
