Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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