im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Did I show you my penis last night?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Randomize
