im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I am mentally ready for anal.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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