Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
