bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
