i just google imaged poop.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
