You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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