if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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