My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
