I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
