Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
