were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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