He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
