let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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