i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
