All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
