I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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