I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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