I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
