You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
