My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
