I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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