Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
