I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
mondays should just be called national damage control day
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
