Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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