with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I am spending my child support on dildos
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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