so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I think my moral compass just broke
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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