Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize