I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He has the fingertips of a God
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