The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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