Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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