He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
