Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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