Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize