I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
