guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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