You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize