he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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