how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I just had sex on a roof
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
