Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
