I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
