I just pynch a tree in the face
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
