they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
