perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
