my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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