How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Randomize
