I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
this just has baby written all over it
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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