This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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