my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
pop tarts are not kleenex
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
FUCK WHALES
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
