He disabled his match.com account in front of me
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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