He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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