Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
