I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
