I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
