There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
