I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
