So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
