around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
