Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
