i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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