everyone is single if you try hard enough
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
